Remember the way she looked at you?
The way she adored you?
Now, the soft gaze she once held in her eyes has been replaced with a glare so sharp it could pierce through glass.
Her gentle, angelic whisper traded for a demeaning tone so crude it makes the dog hide.
What the f*ck happened? If this sounds like you, its time to strap your balls back on and reclaim the power you have given away.
There are many reasons why a relationship dynamic shifts from adoration to aggravation but in this post I will share with you 3 reasons she may have flipped the switch and how it could stem from her lack of trust toward you.
First, we must take a moment to gain a basic understanding of the masculine and feminine energy in each of us and how this dynamic plays out in a relationship.
Each of us is born with both masculine and feminine energy, typically one being more predominant than the other and having greater influence on how we live our lives.
Masculine energy is grounded, present and assertive. It uses the intellect, the brain, logic and reason to work toward the completion of tasks. It is mission, purpose and drive.
In nature, masculine energy manifests as the ground, a cliff or the emptiness of space that all things exist. It is the stillness and “never changing” aspects.
Feminine energy is free flowing, always changing and receptive. It uses feeling, the heart, imagination and emotions to nurture and is focused more on the process than the outcome. It is open, random and formless.
In nature, feminine energy manifests as a flower growing or a river flowing. It is the constant motion and “ever changing” aspects.
In the same way the opposite sides of a magnet attract each other, so does the masculine and feminine energy. This is what creates sexual polarity.
Typically, (and for the sake of this article) men exhibit more masculine energy and thus attract a woman in her feminine. It is this striking arc of polarity that creates sexual attraction between the two opposites.
A man who harbors more feminine energy may find himself attracted to a woman demonstrating her masculine, and the sexual polarity and attraction will be the same.
In same sex relationships there will inevitably be one partner animating their masculine whilst the other portrays the feminine, same sex, same polarity. One might give and the other receive, consider the “butch” and the “femme” dynamic in a lesbian relationship.
Which partner demonstrates each side of the polarity is not important, so long as it is there.
With this basic understanding you might come to appreciate that for a woman to completely surrender into her feminine essence requires her to trust so deeply in the strength of her partners masculine energy that she can relinquish the need to express her own.
If she does not trust fully in your masculine direction, she will continue to animate her own.
And herein lies a problem for many men.
1. You’re not living a life of purpose.
Having no purpose in life is like setting sail in a ship with no rudder. If you’re constantly being blown around by the winds of life your woman will sense your inability to navigate the waters and she will fail to maintain trust in you.
Finding purpose and meaning in what you do is not an easy task nor a linear process and will require it’s own article to further explain (stay tuned.) But for the purpose (see what I did there) of this article a great place to start is by becoming more deliberate and intentional with your daily activities.
Your ultimate purpose is the reason you have incarnated on this planet and you are likely to face off with many superficial purposes in your quest for self actualization. It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion to get to the centre.
Don’t get too caught up in trying to identify “the one reason why you’re here,” but rather put more conscious thought and effort into the way you show up daily.
Always have a goal, something you are working toward to propel you forward. Not only is it healthy and necessary for you but women find a man who is deliberate and intentional more attractive and trustworthy than a man who flits between activities with no intention.
2. You don’t make decisions.
A part of your woman being able to fully surrender into her feminine energy is in her ability to trust in you to make healthy decisions. If you cannot demonstrate your ability to lead in the relationship by making decisions then your woman will continue to animate the masculine part of herself, which will challenge you and possibly even turn you off.
Caveat: making a loving decision on behalf of the relationship is not the same as being a control freak.
She will watch the way you make decisions in your own life and this will carry over into the relationship. If for instance, you hate your job but cannot decide what you want to do, or muster up the courage to leave she will sense your weakness and bring it to the relationship in the form of challenge and resistance.
This is because part of her role in the relationship is to reflect back to you the parts you need to work on in order for the relationship to stay healthy. Take this for what it is, a healthy sign of how you should grow and work on it from there.
Healthy decisions you can make in the relationship can be as simple as which dress you prefer, where to eat for dinner or what movie to watch. If she is asking you, she wants you to lead so do not reply with “you choose.” This will only animate her masculine decision-making process and reinforce her inability to surrender into the moment.
I have encountered many men whilst coaching who insist they must check with their partner before investing in themselves. Albeit there are many an instance which should be discussed as a couple regarding finances, when a man tells me he can’t make the decision without checking with his wife, he is inadvertently telling me he doesn’t trust himself to make a decision alone, or his wife doesn’t trust that he is responsible with money.
These are both areas men should work on.
3. You are too focused on keeping her happy.
This is a big one and something I have fallen into personally. When you love someone, you will do anything to make them happy, right? Unfortunately, if your main priority in the relationship is keeping your partner happy you may unconsciously end up putting her on a pedestal or becoming a people pleaser. This is not where she wants to be.
Referencing point one and a mans need to meet his own life with intention and purpose consider the following situation.
You are running a business that you love and are extremely passionate about. Because you are your own boss you have some flexibility and freedom in your schedule. You enjoy getting up early to beat the sun with your workout and morning routine.
You meet a woman and she becomes interested and attracted to you, partly because she can sense you are living your life on purpose. You begin sleeping together and she stays with you one night during the week. You wake up in the morning ready to attack your day with vigor and enthusiasm before she rolls over and begs you to stay.
She spreads her legs and shows you just how much she wants you to come back to bed. “Please don’t go, just stay with me a little longer.”
Now you have a predicament.
Do you give in, ravish her and stay in bed a few more hours to keep her happy? Consider that although she will be getting what she wants, she will also see how easily you can be perturbed and will begins to think that you aren’t as committed to your purpose as she thought. If this happens again and again, she may begin to question your commitment to other things.
What if you smirk and tell her you never mess up a weekday routine and you’re not about to start? She may get grumpy as you deny her desire, but as you leave she can sense your fearlessness and unwavering determination. This turns her on even more and she appreciates how committed you are.
This is not to say you can never stay in bed and ravish your partner for a whole day, but you must make this decision on your own. In order to maintain trust in the relationship you should consciously choose how you go about your day.
If you consider your options and choose to stay because you believe it will serve you and your relationship the most, she can still trust you, but if you are only staying to keep her happy she will sense this and your presence will mean very little to her.
Here’s where you need to discern between what is healthy for you, her and the relationship.
It is in the nature of the feminine to test the full depth and capacity of the masculine. This means she may ask you for one thing, but really be seeking another.
Your role is not to give her everything she asks for, your role is to serve the highest good of yourself and the relationship which may sometimes result in her becoming upset. Do not take this as a sign of failure.
It is easy to find yourself confused when seeking to relate to a woman in her feminine energy, mostly because as men we try to use our intellect and logic to rationalize something that is being expressed through emotion.
When you harness your own power and stand strong in your purpose and direction, your partner will find it easier to trust in you and your ability to lead, allowing her to surrender deeper into her feminine.
If you are constantly being challenged, told off, or even ridiculed by your partner it could be a sign of her inability to tolerate your lack of masculine presence, so, as a natural instinct she is animating her own.
It is common during these times for a man who is already contracting to submit and surrender deeper to his partner in a bid to keep her happy. As he surrenders he finds himself animating more of his submissive feminine qualities which continue to draw more of the masculine from his partner.
If you find yourself in this situation you have likely given your power (and your balls) away to your partner. Instead of focusing externally on how you can please her or keep her happy, consciously shift your attention inwards.
Begin by focusing on finding strength, courage and direction internally and see what manifests in the relationship as a bi-product.
The easiest thing a man can do is point the finger to his nagging wife and call her a bitch, to say she has changed and shirk all responsibility for his own shortcomings.
But not you.
You will reach into the depth of your soul to reclaim your sovereignty as man and charge the battlefields of your relationship with youthful vigor and swag.
You will acknowledge her moaning as attempts to summon forth the warrior within and you will welcome it with open arms.
And without needing to discuss or argue, you will rise courageously to transmute her anger into ecstatic bliss with the fierceness of your deep hearts loving.
This is what she craves from you.
She would rather you penetrate her mood than waste your time arguing or trying to understand it, these are masculine traits and serve very little the feminine heart desire.
So rise, stand tall and hard like your cock on a good Sunday morning, and, erect and present penetrate every cell in her body with your loving presence.
She is yours, claim her.
