Wasted energy.
You’re sitting there in your own mess, a deflated cock in one hand and a pile of soggy tissues in the other. A feeling of emptiness pervades you as you struggle to get your ass up and do all those tasks you’ve been putting off.
Or perhaps you’re lying in bed trying to ignore the disgruntled sighs coming from your angry wife as she lays stiff in the bed next to you, her arms crossed while staring blankly at the ceiling. She’s upset because you spent all your energy spilling your seed in that vigorous 3.5 minute pump fest and now you need to nap.
If this sounds like you, you may be unwittingly ridding yourself of the precious life energy needed to achieve an extraordinary life every time you blow your load.
Recently the internet has exploded with stories from people, especially young men, who are rallying behind sexual practices such as NoFap and semen retention for a variety of reasons.
Although the two are actually quite dissimilar in their motive and intention, it’s worth discussing both as the terms are being used interchangeably by men who report benefits from practicing one (or both) of these methods. So, what’s all the fuss about? Let us take a look.
NoFap.
According to the internet, NoFap® is a community-based porn recovery website established in 2011 which aims to educate and support users to overcome sexual addictions and porn-based sexual dysfunction.
Semen retention.
Semen retention is the ancient art of, you guessed it, retaining semen. There are several methods and philosophies regarding semen retention but only one main objective – to avoid ejaculation for a period of time. The benefits of semen retention are many and include physical, emotional, and spiritual gains (which we will cover in just a moment.)
Whilst NoFap was originally created (and is still intended) to aid those seeking refuge from addictive and compulsive behaviors, the internet seems to have grabbed this notion and ran, creating an alternate movement in its wake.
Many men are attributing their benefits to NoFap and complete abstinence from all sexual activity. Whilst this may be necessary if you are striving to overcome sexual addictions, it is not a requirement for the average man who is merely seeking to improve his life.
I wanted to make this point clear because it is quite possible to enjoy the benefits of semen retention while still self-pleasuring and having sex.
What is in semen?
According to modern science, semen contains several nutrients including citrate, calcium, magnesium, potassium, zinc, fructose, glucose, protein, lactic acid, urea and is the medium for which carries sperm.
According to the Tao (ancient Chinese philosophy), semen also includes chi and jing. Chi (or qi), also known as life force or vital force is a fundamental ingredient to everything living and is the energy current that runs through our bodies. Chi is used in our day to day activities but can also be cultivated and harnessed through conscious movement and breathwork practices such as qigong, as well as absorbed through proper nutrition.
Jing is believed to be the life essence within us, carrying our heritage like DNA. Unlike chi, some Tao believe we are born with a fixed amount of jing and once depleted we will die. As such, the Tao place a strong emphasis on protecting this life essence. Jing is consumed by stress, illness, drugs and sex.
Ejaculation.
Ejaculation at the most basic level is the process of releasing a highly potent mixture of ingredients with the fundamental evolutionary objective of procreation. Your body puts a high priority on the production of semen and sperm and as such invests a huge amount of resources into the process. Think about how much energy is needed to create another human life!
Ejaculation therefore rids the body of essential vitamins, minerals, chi and jing. This is perfectly fine and tolerable if you are trying to conceive a child, but if you are vehemently spraying your love juice in all directions just because you can, you may be excessively depleting your body of the vital energy it needs to function at a high level. Remember that production of semen and sperm get priority.
Semen retention benefits.
If these vitamins, minerals, chi and jing are not expelled through ejaculation they are reabsorbed, nourishing the body and brain. Without high demand and the emphasis on semen production, you may begin to notice changes in your body and mind.
- Some of the reported benefits of semen retention are;
- Increased testosterone.
- Increased energy.
- Muscle growth.
- Reduced anxiety.
- More confidence.
- Better memory.
- Better self-control.
- Motivation.
- Feeling more grounded.
- And even become more attractive to women!
Basically, everything that makes you a man is harnessed in your reproductive system. Considering your testosterone and semen are kind of like your ‘man fuel,’ ejaculating too frequently will drain this fuel and may leave you feeling like ‘less of a man’ while retaining your semen may have you feeling like ‘a better man.’
Orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing.
By now you may be thinking damn, I really enjoy blowing my load. I hear you, but what if I said you can still orgasm without ejaculating? It is important to note that orgasm and ejaculation are two separate physiological processes. Generally speaking, these two processes occur simultaneously, however (with some training) they can be separated. I feel like this topic really needs its own post so I will cover that in more detail soon.
Train yourself to live in tension.
To be free from tension is at the core of the masculine desire, it is why a lot of men enjoy fixing things, resolving problems, and generally trying to keep things simple. It is also the reason why many men drink alcohol, use drugs, and indulge in copious amounts of masturbation and/or sex.
Ejaculation is the ultimate form of releasing tension and moving into a state of blissful emptiness and, as such many men use an ejaculatory orgasm to rid themselves of the stresses of the day.
Training yourself to sit in the tension, or to use that tension to propel you into a state of action can be a huge game changer in terms of overall life performance.
As an example, think about what you are willing to do to have sex with a beautiful woman versus what you are willing/capable to do immediately after ejaculating. I’ve witnessed first hand the extraordinary lengths men go to whilst trying to win a woman’s attention (myself included) and I’m sure you can relate.
Filled with sexual desire and an impressive swagger you would probably climb a mountain, swim an ocean, and face off with a wild dragon, all with a cock as hard as steel just to get her in bed. Then, immediately after having sex your cock shrivels with exhaustion and you turn into a passive, sleepy little puppy.
Let’s be honest, even if you’re really into a woman a huge amount of your keenness for her dissipates after ejaculating, at least while you enter the refractory period.
Now you may be thinking, well yeah, but why would I climb a mountain, swim an ocean and risk being eaten by a dragon if I can’t even cum at the end of it? Because you’re a man, and your power is in your ability to penetrate not only women, but the world. To stand erect and feel what it’s like to be alive, energized and dangerous is your true essence, not to be flaccid and lifeless.
Now it’s certainly worth noting that ejaculation is not bad, quite the contrary, but my point is that if you are ejaculating too frequently then you are not allowing yourself to harness the full potential of the wild beast that resides within.
Channel the tension.
Next time you feel “negative” tension build from work, your kids or wife, or you feel “sexual” tension from your spouse or a beautiful woman, check in with yourself to see what naturally arises. If your initial reaction is to relieve the tension through alcohol, drugs or ejaculation, pause and ask yourself if doing so would serve your highest good. If the answer is yes, go ahead. If it is merely a coping mechanism or escape strategy, ask yourself how you could better channel this energy then get to work in doing so.
Some methods to channel this tension could be going for a run, punching a bag or lifting some weights. Alternatively, you could do some yoga, breathwork or meditate. If you’re really pent up with excess tension and energy, invest some of it into starting your own business or leading your kids’ sports team.
Do not be afraid of sitting with this energy inside of you and don’t be so hasty to rid yourself of it. When harnessed and channelled this could be the fuel that propels you into the next best version of yourself, embrace it.
How often should I cum?
There are many different Tao theories and formulas for the ideal ejaculation frequency for men, depending on the teacher and translation of text. A general rule of thumb is that younger men, as well as men who are typically healthier, have more of a capacity to rejuvenate after ejaculation and as such can do so more frequently without depleting excessive life force.
Combining several different theories, I have chosen this formula for an approximate guide.
For teenagers: Once a day
In your 20’s: Once every three to four days
In your 30s: Once every seven to eight days
In your 40s: Once every two to three weeks
In your 50’s: Once every three to four weeks
60’s and up: Once every one to three months
For spiritual, physical and mental benefits it is quite possible to abstain from ejaculation for even longer, but in order to reap benefits of semen retention it is recommended you don’t ejaculate any more than this.
One Tao theory states ejaculation can occur 2-3 times per 10 sexual encounters while another states that if the sexual energy and semen are recycled 3 times in the same session (via non ejaculatory orgasm,) then the man can ejaculate on the 4th without losing his sexual energy.
I would suggest these practices are for the more advanced and you should first learn to transmute and recycle the sex energy before trying these out.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
With all of this being said, sex and self-pleasure should be something you enjoy. Tao practices, like any form of spiritual exercise are designed to make your life better. It is best not to rigidly control and measure every part of your sexual experience or you may eliminate the fun and spontaneity. Orgasms and ejaculation feel great and are a healthy part of a fulfilling sex life so, enjoy them!
Masturbation and self-pleasure.
In my experience, masturbation and self-pleasure have different connotations, especially when it comes to men.
Masturbation.
Masturbation on one hand (or two) is the act or process of consciously or unconsciously beating your cock with the intention to blow your load, relieve some stress, ejaculate and reach a state of emptiness.
This can be a very unhealthy act when coupled with stress and/or porn and is usually not very satisfying until climax (if at all.) Masturbation is usually an “out of body experience” with the focus being on porn or some other external thought process.
Self-pleasure.
Self-pleasure on the other hand, is the act of consciously loving yourself into a state of bliss. Like great sex, the focus is on the process itself rather than the outcome. It is an “inward experience” of connecting with your body, your cock and all of your senses. It requires a level of depth and presence to oneself and is truly satisfying if practiced in a safe environment.
Personally, if I don’t have at least 30 minutes to pleasure myself properly then I simply won’t stroke my cock at all. Considering the trade off, a disconnected five-minute spoof into some tissues or the shower drain is not worth depleting vital life energy which could be redirected into something much more conscious and purposeful.
On that note, I sometimes self-pleasure without reaching orgasm or ejaculation at all because I thoroughly enjoy the process and don’t feel the need to “finish it.” By recycling the sex energy and moving it through my body I get up with more energy than I had before I started.
I suggest you experiment with the way you pleasure yourself. Ditch the habit of spilling your seed to porn for the sake of it and adopt the habit of consciously self-pleasuring with the intention to make yourself feel good on all levels.
This change in mindset and meaning will have drastic effects on your life all by itself and will also convert into your sex life. If you are deeply connected to your cock and have separated ejaculation as the primary focus, you will be a better lover to your partner.
Master your cock, master your life.
It would be hard to consider mastery of oneself without factoring in how powerful a force sexual energy truly is. Harnessed properly, a man will feel alive, strong and on purpose. He will have the energy and self-confidence to assert himself in the world, penetrating his deepest desires with strength and conviction.
If however, a rampant and misguided sexual energy is running the show a man is prone to quite the opposite. We have heard countless stories of men, even those in powerful positions doing severe damage with unrestrained sexual energy and we know all too well the level of trauma being inflicted upon women and children as a result.
It is therefore of the utmost importance that you become the master of your cock and your sexual desire. As the master, YOU are in control of self-pleasure, who you sleep with, when you do it and how often you ejaculate.
Like the hammer to a carpenter, your cock is one of the greatest tools to have bestowed upon you. Like a good swing, your sexual energy is the powerful driving force behind your cock. Just like a hammer, you can use your cock to build an empire or to destroy everything that surrounds you.
But I know you wouldn’t have read this far if you weren’t ready to start building, so get to it!
Let me know if excess ejaculation or semen retention has affected your life in the comments below.
